|
[Thursday
4.2.09
] |
Watch The Love Killer Killing Love
Madness breeds a silent paranoid teen bewteen us
in the sheets that were once blessed with happiness.
With my head upon your shoulder
& my arm across your shest,
your heart beats miles away.
Deified for our staged affection. Ha.
Look what has become of us;
two bodies falling down the path I've always tried avoiding.
(It calls to me.)
Vengeful & ruthless even.
We've clearly broke the mold
and for a while discovered peace in our destruction.
Shape me, fake me, make me, take me-
no more.
I've become the clay you knead with your bare hands.
& though its you that I have learned to love
it is myself that I dispise.
While stress cripples my body
madness clearly plagues my head.
Two skilled assassins trained to break me down.
Breakdown?
I hate this part.
Not as much as I hate the tears.
They mock me.
While I weep in pain there
is an extra thought echoing in my head.
Insecurity has haunted these thoughts for years.
Don't be misleading- this is not the first time.
So now you wonder, whats next?
You obviously don't understand.
I should take this experience, form a plan.
Oh, no.
That makes sense.
No.
Instead I'll perfect this way of living
that nearly kills me much too often.
Maybe if I keep giving peices of my heart away
the damn thing will stay gone forever.
Oh, God, I pray that be the case.
I'm a fool to fall in love.
I make surviving look all too easy.
I'll make this lifestyle work.
I'll perfect this passive form of suicide.
The cycle won't ceas until this body powers down.
This is my curse, my burden, my disease.
It's cancerous, killing me, destroying from the inside out.
I monitor my symptoms, pay attention to my meds
and only on the brink of death, relapse.
There is no cure, just scars an memories.
Don't lie to me, love- i am a champion at this game.
you may say it's you, believe its you.
It is me.
I brought this poison upon you.
And you think you;re in the wrong?
I should hvae known...
I knew long before I met you.
Baby, you;re a targett.
|
|
|
[Tuesday
3.10.09
] |
|
SHORELINE BOYS
Meet me at the docks, babe.
Let me love you slowly.
(I mean kill you slowly.)
We'll set fire to the see, babe.
And incinerate our hearts in awe of the beauty we created.
Lethal is the perfect word for us together.
Waves will crash around us.
Tides will rise and fall at our command.
Ships wont set sail without permission.
This can't be a very safe time to swim...
not when ideas of love are being redefined.
Keep that in mind.
We'll brew a tempest on the shower
and unleash this passion out on the vast ocean before us.
LETHAL.
You'll be the death of me.
I garuntee.
One night I'll drown in the sea of my own tears.
And you'll drown with me.
Thats just how we operate.
We'll consumate
our final scene upon the shore
with a kiss
at this
we'll lay eachother down to rest
with a smile and a whisper
"I love..."
|
|
|
[Tuesday
3.10.09
] |
|
The Eternal Sacrafie of Addicts
Sun dancing across my eyes awakes me from a restless slumber.
Oh joy!
Another morning and I'm alive.
With hesitation and frustration
I drive myself through daily ritual.
The new day has just begun...
yet, already I've begun to shiver.
I push lust away from concentration
And with no ease I mend my station.
Another day suffering thanks to californiacation.
Inevitabley, of course,
I observe my hands as they tremble.
The nerves in my stomach aren't all thats nervous.
Pathetic- thats the word!
I would die of embarassment if you knew-
knew my thoughts, my cravings.
I can practically feel my muscles loosen
at the thought of a drink set at my lips.
... Just a few sips.
Thats all it takes, then a few more.
No, two more. OK, four.
Oh- wait, the bottles empty? Whats this? More shakes?
I almost laugh to find myself suprised.
The joke is clearly on me.
And, yes. I do laugh... uncontrollably at times.
Well... Time for bed.
Another day survived!
I feel fine now...
I look fine.
I AM NOT FINE.
Sun dancing across my eyes awakes me from a restless slumber.
Oh joy!
Another day and I'm still alive.
|
|
|
[Tuesday
3.10.09
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
IMMORTALITY
Describing an enigma is tedious,
much like spotting a face in the dark.
I can challenge existence, test it's limits.
Hearing a record of silence is useless,
much like a photograph to the blind.
I can show them the world, with words.
So watch me paint a world with language;
bring to life its noise with my mind.
I can do anything-
press rewind, recount the past, foreshadow the future.
You name it.
Our eyes are decieving,
our ears are defected,
our morals infected.
Physicalities of life are as limited as definitions are-
But language!
Our thoughts, our minds, communication...
the essence of our populations.
Ideas will last forever.
|
|
|
[Monday
9.29.08
] |
|
On the ever of my redemption
I will confess to all my faults.
I'll unleash these secrets from my conscience
and accept my rebirth with all it's baggage.
I'll cry for hours tears of acid
that will clear old scars away for new.
I will speak my many stories
and eventually forget the ones of you.
I'll end this self revolution
and i'll beg the stars tonight.
to tell me reincarnation is real.
on my life tonight- i'll make this right.
I'll ;augh at misconceptions
that only constrew my self-esteem.
I'll completely change my outlook
and make it safe for me to dream.
I will not go to bed in fear
I wont be scared to see tonight.
i'll beg the stars tonight
to tell me this life is real
on my life tonight- this is not alright.
view the outside world- hear its voices scream.
i'll sooth my pain tonight- i'll beg the stars tonight.
On the ever of my redemption
I will confess to all my faults.
I'll unleash these secrets from my conscience
and accept my rebirth with all it's baggage.
A new born cannot define existence,
connections are felt in the heart.
So if my heart fails to beat
this love for you will feel defeat
a new start...
ill beg the stars tonight
to tell me reincarnation is real
on my life tonight- ill be alright.
|
|
|
[Monday
9.29.08
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pain- three days grace |
] |
Skilled In The Art of Deception
This empty room serenades me
with endless thoughs and broken memories.
It wasn't supposed to be this way,
counting down the days...
I've been left no time to heal, no time to fix this.
Watch this, watch this.
I'll fake my own miracle so well- I'll survive this.
Watch this, watch this, watch this.
(It wasn't supposed to be this way.)
Come what may, I seem to always find a way.
A way to pull through anything you convive.
I survive.
Does it hurt to know I walk a thin wire with a flawless step?
Take a breath and brace yourself.
Through sickness and through health,
my smile will not break.
You'll have to shake your own failures.
Dreams will always replay painfull scenes
and thats jsut how i'll see them-
as a sad movie with a brighter end.
Listen close my friend,
this is no lucky gift, no desired trade.
Watch this, watch this.
You'll see me on my feet again, struggling to stand.
Watch this, watch this, watch this.
I'll fake my own miracle so well- i'll survive this.
... no lucky gift, no desired trade.
It's never supposed to be this way.
Take a breath and brace yourself.
Through sickness and through health
this smile will not break.
I will not break, i will survive.
Come waht may, I seem to always find a way.
A way to pull through anything you convive.
I survive.
Does it hurt to know I walk a thin wire with a flawless step?
Take a breath and brace yourself...
cuz lifes not supposed to be this way.
|
|
|
[Monday
9.29.08
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Razorblades by Blue October |
] |
What goods a poet who cannot ryhme?
When their muse has lost it's glow?
I know...
I grew so old of love songs,
used up every smile I possessed.
I regressed.
Confined to this shadow of a life.
I learned a deadly trade...
to charm dreamers with my words,
to sway others to their downfalls.
Don't look at me-
I'm contagious, this outrageous
mental block brings my worst nightmares to life,
projecting damnation from within me.
What goods a dancer whos gone deaf?
Who cannot hear the music beat?
I see...
Theres beauty that surrounds this,
fals hope aspires from within.
No one wins.
Confined to this shadow of a life,
forced to look harder.
To see life for what it is
rather then to silver line it.
Don't look at me-
I'm contagious, this outrageous
mental block brings my worst nightmares to life,
projecting damnation from within me.
Head to this warning, look away.
Don't let my thought seduce you.
This mind state is impossible to return from.
Head to this warning, look away.
Believe in happy endings-
or confine yourself to constant pessimissm.
We're all the broken poet, we're all the nervous dancer.
Don't look at me, don't see.
These nightmares aren't free.
Don't ruin your beauty.
Don't confine yourself to a shadow of a life....
not like me- I'm contagious.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
(YOU CAN ALSO PUT LINKS IN HERE)
